This is such a complicated matter to me.
Okay, so I played in the "PRIZE UP" Standard tournament this morning. It was basically the same as other events but we paid a bit more, got the GP Promo (Foil Mutavault. Not bad.) and would get douhble the prizes. This means a 4-0 would get 100 packs of Rivals of Ixaland.
Round one I'm faced against someone I actually knew from local stores. I'm on Grixis Midrange, he's on Sultai Control. I gave up as soon as I realized he had me in a control lock. Game two I put on pressure with counterspell and Duress backup to get the game. Not much time for game three though. Sadly, I couldn't get there. We draw. That's not the worst, though, becuase a draw is worth one point and 10 points gets you a healthy number of packs. I just need three more wins.
Round two did not go well against Sultai Constrictor. I was in a tight position where I had to cast Memory. Now, I went from 0 cards in hand to 7 and he went from 3 to 7, but got the first turn untapped. I got four non-cycling lands. He got a bunch of cyclers and some action. It didn't pan out for me. 0-1-1.
Now two wins and I get 18 packs. Okay, round three comes and I pull off a win. Sweet. But I am at an awkward position. Four points. Six is the minimum to pay out to two (in thise case four) packs. So I sit down across from my opponent, see the 5-5 people next to us intentional draw so they enjoy a bunch of packs between the two of them.
I say to my opponent. "We're in a shitty position. One of us will get 18 packs, one will get zero. Now, if I win, since I realize we're in a shitty situation, I'd happily give up half my packs." He just ignores me.
Game one I crush him. Game two goes on for a long time and unfortunately he gets the edge and beats me in turns. I was so close to drawing game two and getting the win. But I didn't. So we drew, which would have been five points each, no prizes for either of us. So I said to the judge, can I forfeit to him? And the judge says yes. So I do. Dude gets 18 packs, thanks me and leaves.
Now, was I expecting the guy to realize I did him a favor and throw a few packs my way? Well, this is where I feel morally stuck. I know that he didn't owe me anything. And I took the initaitive to be kind. Now, selfishly, I was kind of hoping for something, but I knew that it was a risk. But sicne the opponent seemed to be okay with neither of us getting packs, I decided to take the initiative so at least one of us got prizes.
I'm not mad I didn't get packs. Not really. There's no cards that I need right now. I mosts?ly just want to play Magic. But relaying this story to various people, Japanese and non-Japanese, everyone was surprised the guy didn't at least throw a pack my way.
So that's my quandry.
I did a nice thing. I gave the guy 18 packs instead of us both going home with nothing. Now should I have expected something? Well, no. I really didn't either. But it kind of chaffs my hide that he just went "Yay me, I get 18 packs!" and left it at that. I mean again, it's hard to explain becuase it's like, I know I am entitiled to nothing. But kindness going unpaid feels... Weird. So maybe I am a bit selfish. I mean I am writing about it. But again, I could have just pulled shit in the packs and it would have been roughly the same. So I am not angry at all. Just.. Is surprised the right word here? Just surprised that someone wouldn't take the hint that I was doing them a favor and repay kindness? Yeah, maybe I am just surprised.
Would I do it again? Sure. I think it's the right thing to do. We both paid money to play in the tournament and to go home empty handed sucks. So I gave him 18 packs. Hopefully he opened up something nice. Maybe he will reflect on this later and be kind to someone else. I can only really be kind. And not expect things. And I kind of hate that I kind of did expect something, but, gah, I'm just repating myself.
Anyway, I'll continue to be kind when the opportunity arrises. And what happens afterwards is out of my hands. I won't let this soil my soul. I'll do what I feel is right. Others will do what they feel is right.
I just gotta not feel shitty about having that, I think, natural human instinct pop up, even though I squished it down.
Went 2-2 in the Modern tournament. That was only worth two packs. And they were shit. Well, I got a foil Swamp. Kind of cool? But hey, 2-2, and 1-1-2. Eh, could be worse. I had a good day at the GP. One more tomorrow and then it's... Spring break! I'll be streaming Magic Areana since the NDA lifted. Look forward to that.