Crushing Finality

I have been translating with one company for two years. I was lucky. I hold no ill will to the work drying up. That’s the freelance gig. But it came as a shock. I was lucky because they helped me out at the perfect time. But now I do not know how much work I will get from them. So if you happen to know of places that need freelance Japanese to English translators, hi.

Now to return to rambling about Magic: The Gathering!

The reason I bring this news up is that I had a stressful day at work on Tuesday so I figured I'd relax by playing some Modern. Well, I got the unfortunate email a bit before the tournament started. So I was in a bit of a weird mood, but I found myself focused on the games of Magic. I won rounds one and two without much stress. Round one was against a new-seeming player with his own mill deck. It was pretty brutal to lose 13 to 26 cards in a turn due to Archive Trap. But he didn't have the resources to deal with my beats and I took him out in two games. Plus, Snapcaster Mage and Gurmag Angler like full graveyards.

Round two was Jund. I just played the Delver game hard and finished him off. Game two was a bit more interesting after siding because I decided to take out Delver of Secrets. He sided to defeat Delver, though. This gave him a hand of useless removal while Tasigur, the Golden Fang and an Angler tore him apart.

Round three I drew lots of lands. Lots of lands. I could have dropped a Snapcaster Mage recuring nothing to kill an early Geist of Saint Traft. I should have. It might have bought me some time. But I shocked my opponent when around turn 8 I played a Delver. See, I had lots of lands. He thought I was on control. Game two was similar, although I don't think I made a mistake. I just didn't draw anything to go with my counters other than cantrips and land.

And that left me feeling how I felt about my translation gig. Helpless. But I can take actions. I already did today and have found a little bit of work. I do hope one day I just have one thing I’m doing to pay all my bills. But it doesn’t feel like that’s how the world works these days.

Level up

Last night I took a translation job that I'd usually want two days to complete, what with my day job taking up the day and heavily suggesting that I get some sleep. Despite my fears, I decided to take it and found myself worrying about being up until three in the morning. I was done by eleven. I've been doing freelance translating for a little more than three years now but I rarely get these moments of "Oh hey, I am improving."

The lychee

Part of lunch today was a brown ball. It looked like a boiled chestnut that wanted to eat your face. It was a lychee. I'd never eaten one before. Lychee gummy-candy is not unfamiliar to me and the taste was spot on between the two. It was a bit sticky and hard to eat, but good. Nice experience. Many students didn't even try theirs. Some braved it and declared it tasty, which caused others to try it. It's a genuinely tasty fruit. But there was a fair amount remaining at the end of lunch. And then there are days why I wonder why they aren't so responsive in English class.

Happy new year

Eek. Another year. Hey, let's celebrate. And by celebrate I mean you can pick up subaku on sale today for $50 if you would like to give me a birthday present. Or wait until tomorrow where it will return to its $2 price. Either way, you get a fun game and I get cash money. I think we both win.

I feel like a college student who has had their first mind altering experience with some form of drug or alcohol when I realized today "Today is like New Year's Day... For me and people with the same birthday. Whoa." Then I high-fived my poster for The Matrix and went and did my job because I am a grown adult who does a job.

And sometimes eats cake. I like cake.

Creepy, crawly

I had an encounter with a spider today and it ended poorly for the both of us. I reckon the spider got the worse part of the deal as it now resides in a landfill, and is deceased at that. I, for better or worse, will go on with the memory fresh enough to be unsettling for the better part of the next few days.

Of the many movie advertisements I saw as a youth, none stood out in my head so much as the one for Arachnophobia. Even now I feel a deep, unsettled feeling just thinking about the film, one I never saw. I recall my parents renting it. I did not go near the living room that night.

As I write this in a room I have written in many nights over the past few years, every shadow has taken a hideous change. This house was once sacred, untouched by fairly large spiders with legs still twitching as it lay their in the last moments of its life.

The inability to move, the difficulty of breath, none of these things are attractive or desirable. I only feel a sense of shame now that the event has passed. The only thing changing is the spider’s size gets larger in my head each time I pause for a second to look around the room to see if another one is here.

Where does the fear come from? And what is it exactly of? The surprise is one thing. It is hard to be unaware of a dog, but an insect or a spider can just “be there” after it was not for so long. But once the initial shock of the spider is done and over with, what is going to happen? I am giving an immense amount of power to something that can only do little to me, and not that much to begin with.