Choices

Did a little stream tonight and got salty during the Magic Arena games. No one likes that. I don't like that. But I chose to be salty instead of choosing to smile and take it in stride.

This lifestyle change is not easy. My default mode is negativity and anger. Now, I wasn't mad at my opponent. Just cursing my own luck. But that's how life works and if I'm going to do these things I have to focus on what I can control.

I hate that sentence I just wrote because it makes no sense to me whatsoever. Focus on what I can control? When do I have a choice in what I think about? When do I have a choice about how I react to things?

Apparently I do. So says many things I have been reading and listening to. But the concept seems so wild and foreign to me. Control over my own thoughts? What kind of mental giant wields such ability?

I don't know the route to take, but at least I am aware of the destination.