You would think I would get better, or at least smarter about PPTQs. I have played in many this season.
I don't feel like I have learned much. Maybe I have and it's just sitting in the back of my brain. But as much as I try to respect different deck types and play a deck that feels versitle, I just don't win. The, and I hate to say "brain dead" because I know these decks take more than that, straightforwardness of Red Deck Wins and God Pharaoh's Gift just seems to trump my variety of things. How many of my three The Scarab Gods did I draw against GPG? None. How many of my Vizier of Many Faces did I draw against red when it just had Hazoret after Hazoret. None.
Now, how much can I actually be complaining because after two losses, I am not in the winner's bracket. So these people are losing too. But I just can't win. I dedicated the majority of this Standard to The Scarab God and... I just don't think it is as good as a card as everyone preaches. It can do some devastating things, and you have to respect it. But "respect" comes in terms of Cast Out or Ixalan's Binding which Grixis cannot handle. Or at least not in my hands. Vraska's Contempts fly around. I don't know how to win.
I don't know. I am playing decks that have topped tournaments. This isn't just me slamming cards I think are good. Maybe those players are lucky. Maybe I am actually making mistakes I am too bad to notice.
It has been a humbling few months of knowing that hard work doesn't necessarily mean anything. I have never gotten a Top 8 in goodness, I don't want to think about how many PPTQs. I don't "deserve" them but I need to approach the upcoming Standard season differently.