I was "off" of coffee for the most part. It was half a conscious effort not to be dependent on something and half laziness of not waking up early enough to press two buttons on my instant coffee maker. (Seriously, the warm-up time for the machine feels like forever when you are in a below-zero kitchen.)
But I had a big cup yesterday and a big one today and… I feel good. Better than I have, with enough energy to do my daily exercises without complaint after work, get a few more things done and then stream for a while. So yesterday felt productive. Oddly so.
I had another big cup today and I felt pretty good during work. A little tired, but I slept like shit yesterday, so that obviously has an effect. Still. Exercised. Practiced some kanji and read some Japanese. Read some English. Probably going to stream tonight. (Or be in the middle of streaming when this goes live. I type it up and schedule it. Oh, the horrors!)
Coffee addiction is a bit scary, and I know it can have its problems, but if it helps me with the funk I was in, is it that bad? Probably still, because I am depending on something but then again I need to get myself to a state where I feel good enough to let things go the way they need to.
That doesn't sound like it makes sense, but I think it do.