As I finished my work for today I realized this month has just flown by. It has been a lot of Magic and a lot of worry about the future. But scarily, it has just gone by. I write in a journal every day, but even flipping through that I can hardly remember the days. It just went by.
Perhaps that is one reason to dig back into the job hunt. This job has gotten too predictable and too boring when it is not stressing me out. Not that there is a job without these moments, but I have grown tired. I did give up on the job hunt for a little while because it was just depressing and mostly showed that I needed to refine skills. So I have been working on refining skills.
My Magic playing has, record-wise, been awful, but I feel like I might be making improvements. My games are going longer, which is possibly a sign of me thinking more. I often do not think enough. I need to think more. I can think back to many of my plays that I made "just because" and then a few turns later that is why I lost. That kind of retrospection is valuable. I can only hope it begins to result in more wins. But I have to remember that luck is still there. I did have to mulligan down to four game three of round one yesterday.
Lots of things sting. I have to get used to them. I have to let the go by and live life. Otherwise, what am I doing?