Tilt

Today I broke a promise to myself, although it is hard one to keep. I tilted at a tournament, and hard. And then I went into a spiral of negative thoughts and just ruined my day.

But what I hve to realize is that it's not so much the card game that it is the negative thoughts. A little bad variance and I let myself talk myself out of any chances of even doing well. I began doing stupid things. I even had a moment of "Well, I did bad so maybe spending some money on something I don't need will make me feel better."

I didn't, thankfully, but I did go home and rest and realized that I am going to need to work on positive thinking more than I realized. The negativity really got me today and the only difference between last week when I won two tournaments and this week where I couldn't win a game was a little bit of luck and a lot of negative self talk.

This is going to be hard. The negative self talk habit I have built up is a long time running. But I am going to have to work on it if I want to improve my life, not just my Magic win recod.