A Failure

One of my "goals" for the year was to blog at least once every other day. Now that is impossible because more than half the year has passed and I have not kept up that pattern. I could, maybe, write two blog posts a day. That might hit my number. But it won't be doing what I set out to do. Which was write every other day.

So I failed.

And I feel bad. Although I failed becasue... I don't know. I didn't have anything to write about. Or I didn't feel like writing about something would be worthwhile. And yet when I sit down and tell myself to write, well, just like you see now there are words written here. So I can do it. Although what exactly am I writing about? That is my worry.

And am I just checking off a box to check off a box? What do I want out of writing? Why do I want to write? Why do I feel like it is something I have to do? It has felt like something I have to do for years - and yet I don't do it.

I can't explain it. But I have to explore myself to see why.