Vulvacia Barbecuesauce: Chapter Six

Fifth (Technically the Sixth chapter.)

The grisly beefmonger sniffled. Being exploded was not as fun as he had imagined. This is not to say that it was ever on his unfortunately short list of life goals, but being blown into bits by Vulvacia Barbecuesauce was something one could be proud of. He looked around into the sub-universe and noticed that the other exploded beings were wearing signs of bombs, gas-tanks and other common death-by-explosives marks. Only his sign had a picture of Vulvacia Barbecuesauce. And even though it was his goal to destroy her, he thought it was a fairly snazzy photograph.

And older exploded-being laughed at him. “Watcher name, boy?” The grisly beefmonger remained silent. What he said next would define him as long as he was an exploded-being. Should he give his real name? Should he take the opportunity to

“That’s Griz Lee Fishface. Stupidest name in the class of 3069.” A husky, yet distinctly feminine voice drifted over towards him.


“Heya, Griz. Ever get some beef for your beard or did you stick with fish for the whole time?”

Griz Lee Fishface remained silent. Being an exploded being was sad enough but meeting Ethel again was not something on his to do list in any state.

“Oh well,” continued Ethel. “You’re probably wondering how in the world I exploded and ended up near you, right? Don’t go thinking I was following you. Pure coincidence.”

Griz wasn’t wondering. He still remembered all the times little Ethel McBeefintosh always tugged at the fish in his young beard. Even in his exploded state he could feel the stinging tugs.

“Anyway, the point is that I know exactly why you’re in this state.” Griz perked his exploded ears up towards her. “It’s that blasted Vulvacia Barbecuesauce. And if you want to get back at her, you’re going to need my help.”

A worried smile began to form on Griz’s exploded face.