A cycle of bills

I took my whole North American game collection to a retro store. A bit of bargaining later, my collection is now ready to go out to other people. I looked at the store’s Facebook page and found its customers drooling over my old games. One person said something about the “”poor person”” who had to let it go. Well, I am a bit less poor now.

They sat in a box in my parents’ house for more than six years. Yet, I still feel an odd sensation in the center of my chest. There was no feeling that I needed to “simplify” or that “less things would make me happier”. I know neither of these things are it. This sale made me realize my own mortality.

Looking at them all lined up on a glass case had me replay the memories. I could recall buying every one of them. Shin Megami Tensei 3 was at least 150 hours of my life. The Final Fantasy games sixty or more each just on those versions. It was all fun. Time well spent. On an entertainment basis, I got my money’s worth on that pile even when including the stuff that I picked up and never played.

What got me in this mood is the stuff I never played. Each one was a promise to myself. A promise to play and finish the game even if it was bad or I did not like it, because to keep myself in a world of only what I like would be limiting me.

So I thought. I think I still do.

I am not sure the idea of having less “stuff” works this day in age as we trade in our discs for a hundred times as much digitally. Their physical properties may not weigh me down, but the amount of stuff that I am going to watch or read or play “someday” has changed from paper and plastic to ones and zeroes on my devices and then increased a hundred-fold. Sometimes these ones and zeroes are just in clouds. It is no different, perhaps worse as I cannot look at my Kindle list and get the same feeling as a shelf of good books gives me.

Am I sad right now? Reflective? I am not sure. I am thinking, though. A slightly higher number in a bank account does not necessarily make up for it. Enjoy the photos the store took of the bigger items of my collection.

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