Memories of Movies I Have Never Seen: Jurassic Park

I've actually enraged people by telling them I have never seen this.

I think it may have come out right around the time my parents were just about almost ready to maybe let me see films that were a little more "scary" and "adult" (not in the people fucking sort of way). Either way, from the brief bits I did catch while my parents were watching it, I am kinda glad I didn't.

Someone got eaten by a dinosaur while pooping, right? I think I remember that part.

For months after the movies release, I did not want to sleep on the lower of the bunk beds my brother and I shared as I figured that would make me the first target for the being eaten had velociraptors somehow gotten loose in my house.

Of course, this wasn't really a bunk bed so much as it was a normal bed with another bed that slid out from underneath it. Still, I was really banking on that extra foot making the difference in who would get eaten and who would be able to escape while the dinosaur took a little post-snack power nap.

Rating: Dinosaur Diarrhea  out of 5

Likeliness I'll ever watch it to completion: Maybe if my son really gets into dinosaurs when he's thirty.